We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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