"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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