I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize