my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize