Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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