i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize