dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize