I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize