Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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