; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize