I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize