I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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