so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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