I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize