The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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