I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize