You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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