i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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