I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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