No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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