I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize