maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have fence marks all over my body
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize