Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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