Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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