bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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