It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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