Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize