Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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