just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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