Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize