theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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