Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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