Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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