Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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