but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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