new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize