even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize