I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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