You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
PANTIES FOUND
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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