I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize