She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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