i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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