just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize