i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
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Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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