@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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