Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
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