Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize