just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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