I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize