At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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